the post you've all been waiting for

little jack

well- this will probably take me a few days to actually post since my days- and nights- now consist of feeding my little man and then trying to sleep when he sleeps. except when i just need a break and need to hear from the real world- i get on the computer.

i am letting you know, as a reader of this blog, that probably 99% of my posts will now be about little Jack.

This last week has just been crazy. We went into the hospital on Wed the 8th and I was induced by Thursday morning. I got an epidural by Thursday night around 7 when I just wasn't getting anywhere with my labor. By Friday, I was more in the active part of labor but his head was just too big and around 1100, the doctor told me his head was turning into a cone and that i would need a c section. the c section was extremely uncomfortable. not painful- because i was numb- but i have never been more uncomfortable in my entire life. they ended up giving me the gas stuff because i couldn't stop tensing my body. I don't remember much of what happened after that. They let Matthew go over and take video and pictures of him right after he was born. They rbought him over to me and that took my mind off of the pain. He was (and is) beautiful. I didn't realize how much I could love him right away. I've felt like his mom for a while now but it made it so real to see him, to touch him, and to feel the warmth of his skin. they took him away then to get him all finished up and moved me into recovery. I wasn't able to feed him right away because I was far to weak to even lift my hands; let alone hold him. When I first held him, Matthew had to put his arms under mine because i was so groggy.

Nothing went as planned with the birth of our little guy. I knew that my birth plan was flexible but things came and went so differently than I had expected. I hadn't even ever considered being induced or having a c-section. None the less, all of the pain, frustration, hunger, and everything in between was so worth it once i saw his little chubby cheeks.

Jack and I both received many blessings during this time. It made me really grateful to know that Matthew has the priesthood and could bless us and let us know what Heavenly Father wanted us to know. Jack probably didn't understand his blessing but the comforting words definitely calmed him. The words in his blessing were definitely more for us than for him anyway. He's such a little angel.

i love holding him, feeding him, knowing that he loves me so much even if he doesn't understand. being a mom is the most wonderful feeling in the world. it's comforting to know that I can take care of him. He's mine and I am already smitten by his cuteness.

our first family photo

in his car seat ready to come home

family before leaving hospital

his cute little hand

with his great grams

first tummy time. He loves it!

with his Bachi

coming home.

oh- we won't be posting any of his videos on the blog but if you'd like to be able to see them, please let me know. :)