the post you've all been waiting for

little jack

well- this will probably take me a few days to actually post since my days- and nights- now consist of feeding my little man and then trying to sleep when he sleeps. except when i just need a break and need to hear from the real world- i get on the computer.

i am letting you know, as a reader of this blog, that probably 99% of my posts will now be about little Jack.

This last week has just been crazy. We went into the hospital on Wed the 8th and I was induced by Thursday morning. I got an epidural by Thursday night around 7 when I just wasn't getting anywhere with my labor. By Friday, I was more in the active part of labor but his head was just too big and around 1100, the doctor told me his head was turning into a cone and that i would need a c section. the c section was extremely uncomfortable. not painful- because i was numb- but i have never been more uncomfortable in my entire life. they ended up giving me the gas stuff because i couldn't stop tensing my body. I don't remember much of what happened after that. They let Matthew go over and take video and pictures of him right after he was born. They rbought him over to me and that took my mind off of the pain. He was (and is) beautiful. I didn't realize how much I could love him right away. I've felt like his mom for a while now but it made it so real to see him, to touch him, and to feel the warmth of his skin. they took him away then to get him all finished up and moved me into recovery. I wasn't able to feed him right away because I was far to weak to even lift my hands; let alone hold him. When I first held him, Matthew had to put his arms under mine because i was so groggy.

Nothing went as planned with the birth of our little guy. I knew that my birth plan was flexible but things came and went so differently than I had expected. I hadn't even ever considered being induced or having a c-section. None the less, all of the pain, frustration, hunger, and everything in between was so worth it once i saw his little chubby cheeks.

Jack and I both received many blessings during this time. It made me really grateful to know that Matthew has the priesthood and could bless us and let us know what Heavenly Father wanted us to know. Jack probably didn't understand his blessing but the comforting words definitely calmed him. The words in his blessing were definitely more for us than for him anyway. He's such a little angel.

i love holding him, feeding him, knowing that he loves me so much even if he doesn't understand. being a mom is the most wonderful feeling in the world. it's comforting to know that I can take care of him. He's mine and I am already smitten by his cuteness.

our first family photo

in his car seat ready to come home

family before leaving hospital

his cute little hand

with his great grams

first tummy time. He loves it!

with his Bachi

coming home.

oh- we won't be posting any of his videos on the blog but if you'd like to be able to see them, please let me know. :)

9 months...

well- the day is here. i'll be going into the hospital in 3 hours. i'll some meds tonight and more tomorrow and then it's up to him....

hello little one- we've been waiting for you!

pictures to come soon :)

40 weeks

Well, the date that I have waited for for the last 9 months has come... and gone.... I know most people go late with their first but I really thought our little one would come a bit early. They estimated my due date as November 11 at first, and then switched it to Dec 5 and stuck with that. But I guess I thought that since they guessed earlier first, he'd be here at least a little before 12/5. Nonetheless, here I am. Still writing, still walking, still waiting to hold my little one...

I went to the doctor today and they would like to schedule an induction by the end of the week. Right now "there's no room at the inn", but she said to hold tight until tomorrow when they will call again to see if I could get in. When they call, they could tell me that I could be coming in tomorrow night to Thursday night or, I guess if there's no room they'll put it off more. I'm really hoping that Jack comes on his own but

I'm open for whatever. I was really against being induced until I found out that a lot of people in my family were induced with their little ones. I trust my doctor's and I trust that they will also help me to know what's best for me.

Even though I thought he would come early, I still feel so

unprepared. I have everything ready and I'm not scared about anything but I know that I will feel unprepared as soon as his little self enters this world. Life will be so different for Matthew and I and

as muc

h as I know that I know it will still be a huge shock. Our lives will revolve around th

is little child in a way that neither of us can expect or prepare for. That is a crazy thought. I am going to be a mom. I will have someone else that is 100% dependent on me. He will be dependent on me for food, cleanliness, happiness, and everything else he can think

of! It'll be hard- I'm sure harder than I can even imagine, but it'll also be worth it- I'm sure more worth it than I can even imagine...

I'm ready for our little Jack to be here. I'm ready to see his cute little squished face. I'm ready to bundle him up in the cute little clothes and blankets that we have for him.

Hopefully, I won't be posting for a little while but while I'm here- I'll keep you updated!

Here's the 40 week pictures!